On the Mark, Episode 4: Major Interstellar Event To Shake Up Universe
April 30, 2009
A week from now, on Friday, May 8, there will be a wondrous convergence of interstellar proportions, forever changing the whole space/time continuum. The Universe will undergo a moment in its history that will have lasting repercussions for its inhabitants for millennia to come.
On a lesser note, that day will trumpet in a significant increase in pocket protector sales, and white medical tape to repair broken glasses. Short-sleeved, white shirts will fly off the shelves . . . . and you better not leave your protractor laying around, because someone just might steal it. Or borrow it to run a calculation on Einstein's theory of relativity. Just for fun.
Yes, my friends, next Friday is the release date of the new Star Trek movie.
Now, assuredly, half of you just groaned, and the other half just gave me an imaginary Vulcan salute, squealing like a school girl. Which means half of you are totally with it, the other half not so much. You be the judge, lol.
For the people who don’t like Star Trek, it’s been around a long time without you liking it. Over 40 years (that's a big 280 in dog years). So you might as well start liking it, because it’s probably going to be around 40 more years. You probably will be on your deathbed, and think to yourself, “Why didn’t I ever watch Star Trek?”
People are afraid to call themselves Star Trek fans, because there is a connotation that they are all geeks. Which couldn’t be further from the truth. Only the geeks who happen to like Star Trek are geeks. The rest of them are presidents, doctors, lawyers, actors, teachers, cash register operators, and web design people who should be working but write weekly email blogs instead.
This new movie, simply called "Star Trek", is somewhat of a reboot of the original series -- with new actors playing young Captain Kirk, Mr. Spock, etc. Word is William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy couldn't fit into the spandex costumes anymore, and even with makeup they couldn't pull off looking like they are in their 20's and fresh out of space school. It must be kind of weird, seeing younger people taking over the roles you played over 40 years ago. Especially when you have underwear in your dresser drawer that are older than the actors who are replacing you.
Before I say a bit more about the new movie, let's take a whimsical moment to look at the careers of William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy.
Nimoy first. He is actually going to be in this new movie, as he travels back in time in order to help out his younger self. Which is certainly going to be nice to see, as he hasn't played the character in almost 20 years. Only in science fiction can you talk to yourself and not be committed.
Leonard Nimoy is also known for doing the 1970's TV series "In Search Of", which used to scare the snot out of me as a kid. I thought for sure that bigfoot was going to break through my bedroom window, or a Loch Ness-type monster lived in the pond behind my neighbor's house. Or underneath the hill in our backyard was the lost civilization of Atlantis.
Later in his career, he was a director, helming the movie "Three Men and a Baby." Not a bad movie at all, even with Steve Guttenberg in it. Then he started shooting photography. Mostly nude women. Mostly nude, overweight Jewish women. (This time I'm not joking -- even I couldn't make that one up . . .)
Now William Shatner . . . . The Shatenator . . . . or The Shat, for short. What can we say about the most brilliant person he has ever met?
He started out in a classic episode of "The Twilight Zone", seeing a giant Ewok out on the wing of the airplane. He goes crazy, and wants to hug it. Or beat the crap out of it up. I'm not sure which. Just like Star Wars fans with the Ewoks in "Return of the Jedi".
Later after the original Star Trek series on NBC, his career hit a low point. He was in a movie where bees or ants or spiders or some crawling or flying creatures attack and eat people; and he did a lot of game shows like "The 20,000 Pyramid", and "The Battle of the Network Stars".
Then he was on "T.J. Hooker", which was always fun watching them come up with a reason to have Heather Locklear run, or to get into a bikini to go under cover. Then he did "Rescue 911", which back then did not have any segments about women calling 911 because they didn't get the right amount of Chicken McNuggets.
Then recently, he played a loopy version of himself, the character of Denny Crane on "The Practice". And, of course, he still is the pitchman for Priceline.com.
But William Shatner has other claims to fame. One is that people make fun of him because he probably wears a toupee or wig. Which I found out, when you make fun of people about being bald, the next day you start losing your own hair. It's one of the constants of the Universe. I know. Wish someone would have told me that ahead of time.
His other claim to fame is his particular manner of delivery when he is acting. You. Must. Pause. Between. Every. Word. For. Dramatic. EFFECT! Then. YOU. Say TWO. Words. Here. And There. To. Mix. It UP! You. Must also. Always. End. The Sentence. With. An Exclamation. POINT!
Now HERE! Is a clip. Of. The new. MOVIE!
And. Also. A classic. William Shatner. Clip. From. Saturday Night. LIVE!
The buzz on this new movie has been phenomenal, and there is a thought that it will make more money than any other Star Trek movie has made before (had to get that cliché in there somewhere). And there has been a lot of talk that the movie is being made for the non-fans and fans alike. It's supposed to have all the booms and fast stuff flying around, as well as humor and character moments. If you never saw a second of Star Trek in the past, it has been said that people will enjoy this movie.
Anyhow . . .
If you are a fan of Star Trek, go see the movie!
If you used to be a fan of Star Trek, go see the movie!
If you were never a fan of Star Trek, what are you waiting for, go see the movie!
If you are in a full body cast from an unfortunate skydiving accident, have your friend hold your wallet up to your mouth, pull out eight bucks with your teeth, and give it to your friend to go see the movie!
Until next time, Live Long and Prosper,
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